Fergal Sharkey

Fergal shark, otherwise known as Fergal Sharkey (because he was), loved to eat. He enjoyed a meal more than anything. Sharks are the perfect eating machines, and Fergal Sharkey was the perfect shark. All Fergal liked to do was eat and reproduce...swimming goes without saying.
Fergal was a great white shark, as opposed to an average white shark, which would be a good name for a garage band.
Fergal Sharkey had grown up big and strong on account of his superior intellect and awesome speed; or, if you like, awesome intellect and superior speed.
He never tried to eat anything a bigger shark was already eating, other than that he ate pretty much anything: fish, bottom crawlers, ambergris, floating refuse, sinking refuse, even humans.
He wasn’t picky at all.
This one rule about never eating anything a bigger shark was already eating insured that Fergal would grow up to be one of the biggest darn sharks there ever was. He was always amazed at how many other sharks violated this one rule and wound up bit in half or worse.
What could be worse? Two words: slow death.
Being a shark was all Fergal ever tried to be. He was alone most of the time being his own sharkey self and in this fashion grew to enormous size.
Soon he could eat anything any other shark was already eating because there were precious few sharks bigger than him, and eat other sharks when he felt like it. Mostly he ate them when they got in his way, or tried to eat his food.
Many sharks got to know of Fergal Sharkey:
“Oh, shit! Here he comes! Dive! Dive! Dive!”
Fergal thought he had a working relationship with other sharks. He was completely unaware of that thing called friendship, or courtship.
He just liked to eat.
Once in a while around spring he got the urge to seek out a female and he heeded the call--if he wasn’t too busy eating. He knew what was important: staying alive, passing on genes.
One time Fergal tried to eat a dolphin. Not a dolphin fish. A dolphin, dolphin. (Say that word over and over again until you realize what an odd word it really is.) What a bad idea that turned out to be. They ganged up on him and beat him up really good, or really bad depending on your attitude and diction.
Fergal Sharkey never tried that again. Rule number one: no eating it if the shark eating it is bigger than you. Rule number two: no eating dolphins that aren’t already dead.
Now you know, too.