Kay Jay

Kay Jay was a common desert lizard. He was the kind of lizard that could skitter around at 40 miles per hour when he felt like it. It was quite a sight to see, sand flying, tail wagging, fast moving reptilia squamata.
He liked to style and profile on top of rocks or any other protruding promitory. He’d be acting as cool as a lizard can be, that is ‘till some reptile eating bird showed up, then he’d be doing the evasive action wild thing.
He used to like to wear those cool looking aviator Ray Bans, and at night he’d throw on a leather jacket. It got pretty darn cold in the New Mexico desert in the wintertime. Kay Jay liked to eat scorpions on those cold nights. Being immune to their sting didn’t mean it didn’t burn like fire when that stinger hit home. He’d get a meal and warm up a few degrees, all at the same time. It was kinda like eating jalepaños.
One evening he was outside enjoying the setting desert sun, when a big striped coral snake named Millard came slithering up. Kay Jay just stood there acting cool. The snake moved in as slowly and unobtrusively as he knew how. Kay Jay watched him with just a little contempt. Millard and Kay Jay went back a long way. Millard made his move lunging with fangs barred. Kay Jay was faster still; he put it into high gear and was 30 feet away before that ol’ snake could blink.
“Right, like you thought you’d actually catch me,” Kay Jay said.
“Almost.”
“Not even close, you legless lizard wanna-be.”
“One day, I’m swallowing you head first.”
“Yeah, yeah--go catch a snail.” Kay Jay climbed up on top of another rock. He posed hoping a good-looking female would happen by and notice. None did.
He sat there until just past nine. The moon rose--he did look pretty cool silhouetted against it. He headed off for the nearest Honkey Tonk western bar, and listened to the band play.
It was a rugged life out there in the desert, but Kay Jay couldn’t think of a place he’d rather be.