Jed

“Jed get down offa there before you hurt yourself,” Amanda hog called. “It’s too damn hot for this Tom foolery.” Jed was a pig. At the moment he was balancing precariously on a rain barrel he had just knocked over. Several chickens had gathered around to watch the show, and Jed was hamming it up the way only pigs can.
“Go, Jedariah, go!” Some of the farm animals took up the chant.
Jed was on three legs now, then on two. Of course he fell off into the mud where he immediately began break dancing.
The squawking and commotion even got ol’ Nelly cows attention. She swaggered over to watch, chewing her cud excitedly, like a teen-ager with a wad of bubble gum.
Jed was back up on the barrel. This time he was juggling old tin cans and telling even older, rustier jokes. “How do you get holy water?”
“Dunno Jed, how?”
“Boil the hell out it!”
Squawking and mooing. Jed was back in the mud again.
Suddenly there comes farmer Mac. The barnyard scatters. Jed is right in the middle of trying to climb back up on the barrel when Farmer Mac sees him. Jed freezes. Amanda and Nelly can’t help but laugh out loud.
“Stupid pig, why’d ya go an knock over the rain barrel for?”
“Cuz he wassa wantin’ for to provide us with entertainment,” Danny Crow called down from on top of the barn.
Unlike you and I, Farmer Mac understood nary a word of it.
Jed looked up sheepishly. “It was a good show ‘till you showed up.”
“Give it up Jed, there’s more water in the trough an I’ll be shootin’ ya all down with the hose for it gits dark.”
“Whoopee! What’d I tell ya, what’d I tell ya. Huh, Amanda? Baths for everybody.”